So let me start by saying, I love being a publicist and I’ve had a pretty good run, if I do say so myself. It has given me the opportunity to do exactly what I’ve wanted to do all of my life; get paid for working in entertainment. I’ve traveled all over the world, worked with talented individuals and met some amazing people.

The problem is I am now a 51-year-old publicist, who’s been out of the mix of things for a few years. Don’t get me wrong, I still have the knowledge and experience to make things happen, but I’m definitely in hustle mode these days. See I got discouraged with the BS of the business after I allowed myself to get personally caught up in helping a client regain her success. Once things were moving, she forgot who breathed life back into her career. Now I’m not saying that she owed me any gratitude; that’s an emotion someone has to feel on their own, but she damn sure owed me money. When she didn’t give me my just due, it made me second guess myself and what I was doing. I now know I shouldn’t have given her the power to make me second guess who I was or what I was meant to do, instead, I should have realized the truth about her. She was; a less than honorable person; that’s it and that’s all! I just hate it took me a few years and a personal tragedy to come to that conclusion.

I will say this about the experience, it helped me put my faith in God, because honestly I didn’t have anyplace else to put it. I faced the problem that many women face, the “Everything is fine, I’m fine, don’t worry I’ve got everything under control” syndrome, when in fact you feel like your drowning and there’s no lifeline anywhere. Keeping my head above water became a daily task. I worked to make sure the next weight that was put on me, wouldn’t be the one that finally took me under. It starts to eat away at who you are. For me I felt like I was failing my family, myself, God, my mother, my brother, my cousins, my aunts, Lol… I’m sure you’ve got the picture. I felt like I was losing everything and couldn’t see a way to come back and to be honest at one point I wasn’t worried about the comeback, instead I just wanted to exist and make sure my family got what they needed.

All this didn’t start with the less than honorable client, it actually started a few years earlier when my husband and I started having financial problems, marital problems, and all around life problems. The client was just the weight on me that finally pulled me under. I watched daily how the celebrities star started shining brighter and her project was being promoted and it ate away at me more than I realized at the time. I was going through the motions by then, but I recognize now I was in a full blown depression. I gained a great deal of weight, my hair started falling out, and my husband was cheating.

The situation was a hot mess, but to God be the glory, redemption would be mine. I’ve got more to share but it’s time to get back to work. Just know this, “going through my struggles prepared me for the path I’m on today. I damn sure hate I lost my hair and gained 70 lbs, but it’s nothing a diet, exercise, spanks and a good hair stylist can’t fix.” Lol… I’ll be back soon. Smooches!


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